I’m Jen Engevik (aka Jennifer Ann Engevik). I was born in Southern California in 1976 and was a curious youngster. My growing years saw me climb trees, build forts, play baseball with the boys, cry my eyes out when my mom forced me to try ballet and nearly faint when attempting to play piano recitals with a bow in my hair. I’m a lover of the great outdoors, seeker of truth and daydreamer.
I have created this blog for several reasons, but mainly because I want to be bold and sometimes fail miserably. I want to look fear, self-judgement, limited thought, and half-assed living in the eyes — then laugh like a crazy woman.
Everyone has pivotal moments in their lives that define their quest – or lack of quest. For me it was the death of my father when I was 10-years-old.
He died unexpectedly of a massive heart attack. Dad wasn’t a perfect man on every level (who is?), but he had the power to inspire in me a love for lakes, sand dunes, the moon, the stars, and possibility. Losing him changed everything. It broke my heart – challenged me to find meaning -pushed me at one point to pure panic – and desperately sent me on a quest to find my bold-self.
Then there is mom. When my dad died, she gracefully accepted role as protector of three kids and taught us to be bold. She is a rock star and a promoter of dreams.
Sometimes we human beings are amazingly bold – many times we attempt to be bold – and other times we’re damn fearful. It’s OK though – this is what life is all about.
The truth is that this life is amazing, confounding, frustrating, inspiring, heartwarming, heartbreaking, exhilarating — never ending growth.
I once asked a 97-year-old woman when she reached her peak of understanding and wisdom. She whispered in my ear, “honey…it hasn’t ended…I am still growing and still trying to figure it all out.”
Please journey with me, share, and lets attempt to be bold together. It all becomes a bit more manageable when we dare to let our guards down and pour it all out. It is when we allow ourselves become vulnerable, raw and real that we make progress in this universe.